Hi everyone!
So with this post, I thought that I would just jump right in with it and write about my 'skin story.' This is what my blog will mainly be focused on, so I thought that it would be an appropriate post.
So from the day I was born, I have suffered from very severe, active atopic eczema. You're now probably thinking what on earth does that mean? Eczema is a common skin disease, which causes redness and dryness on the skin and this causes the skin to become very itchy most of the time. Eczema is most common in children. Children who suffer with this condition will normally end up growing out of it by the time they hit puberty, but in some cases, it wont leave you alone. Frustratingly, this was, and still is my case.
I'm now approaching my 18th birthday and I'm still suffering from this condition. Many people wont really think much to this because it doesn't really seem that bad to anyone who isn't familiar with the condition. This condition is also nothing compared to all the other major diseases and illnesses that are out there, but to me, and to anyone else that suffers from it, whether they are a sufferer themselves, or close to someone who suffers from this condition, Eczema is the most annoying, upsetting, frustrating, and aggravating thing there is; and it really knows how to destroy your self confidence.
My experience with this was also a bit different to regular eczema suffers, because I also have a list of allergies that contribute to my eczema flare ups. I suffer from something called oral allergy syndrome. Oral allergy syndrome, also known as pollen-food syndrome occurs normally with people who suffer from allergies to tree pollens, grass, and suffer heavily from hay fever...yep, I've also got all of those too! But anyway, long story short, oral allergy syndrome is where the lips, tongue, and throat swell up and become inflamed and irritated when you eat certain foods. This happens to me if I eat hazelnuts, (yes, I'm not allowed to eat nutella!) walnuts, stone fruits, for example cherries or plumbs, or any fruit that is very juicy or acidic, for example, apples.
Anyway, my skin has caused me a lot of problems throughout my whole life, and still does to this day. I've been to endless appointments with my GP and also many trips to the hospital, and A+E once or twice. I've been taken to specialist allergy departments and doctors that specialize in eczema, but still no long term improvement. I've also had patch testing and light therapy but they too haven't benefited me. I also had quite a hard time throughout school with bullying, particularly within my teenage period. As we all know, appearance is everything at this age and I really wasn't happy with mine, and it seemed no one else was either. Many of the other people at my school, particularly my year group thought that I was disgusting, weird and ugly, which naturally really upset me. A lot of the boys would talk about me and say nasty things about me; it was never to my face, but I knew what they were saying. I remember being jealous of the other girls in my class because of how perfect their skin looked to me, and I used to massively envy them. A lot of the 'popular girls' used to laugh at me and talk about me too. It was a very tough time for me and even after I left school at the end of my GCSE exams, it still carried on, despite not going to school any more. I was in a low place and learned to hate the way I looked and lost all confidence that I used to have in myself. I kept all of this to myself, I never told any of my friends, teachers or parents, which is something I shouldn't of done, because keeping it all to yourself makes you feel a whole lot worse.
Now when I think about this period and look back on it, I'm proud that I overcame it and I'm now much more happier and a lot more confident too. I remember looking in the mirror and hating what I saw, and crying to myself a lot of the time, but now I've grown a lot more as a person and I certainly have a whole new found confidence within myself. I'm now able to look in the mirror and say to myself, 'I think I look pretty good today' or 'I like the way I look today.' I have found new ways to keep my condition more controlled and it's going well so far. My new confidence boost sparked off my interest in fashion and I even recently applied to do modelling which I was successful for, however I couldn't go due to the location of the studio, but I'm still hoping and planning to pursue it eventually.
I've realised that this post is quite depressing in some ways, and that it's also dragged on for quite a while, but I wanted to share it with others so that I could possibly inspire others or help them out if they have any similar problems, whether they are to do with their skin, how they look, self confidence, or bullying. I hope that none of you view this as a sob story kind of thing, because that's not my intention at all, my aim is to help others.
My next post is hopefully going to be a more uplifting one, and I'd also love to know what you thought of this post. Also have you ever been in a similar situation, and if you have, how did you cope with it or what did you do about it? Feel free to comment if you have any questions too!
See you next time, Amber x
